Evolving

Evolving is never easy

It stretches everything

Especially your faith

What does it feel like

To shed your skin

To walk for the first time and fall

How does the bird feel 

The first time she takes flight

Evolving is never easy

Light shows up

Light shows up 

In the most unexpected places

In a daughter 

Binding up a mother's wound

In a child

Singing carols with passion

In laughter shared

Among cousins

In a simple gift

From child to parent

In the return of the king

In total darkness

Yes, light shows up

In the most unexpected places

Restoration

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion

We were like those who dream"

What has the Lord restored 

In your life?

What broken pieces

Has he mended back together

What new insights and wisdom 

Has he gifted you with

The great promise of God

Is restoration

Renewal

Redemption

Of Creation

Of the Cosmos

And one of the miracles

Is that it comes

Through a helpless infant

Born in Bethlehem

One that must be held 

And fed and bathed

What a wonderfully strange way

To save the world!

What a bizarre way 

To show the vulnerability

Of the Lover of our souls

And this is how restoration comes

Come, Lord Jesus, Come

Light

What a shock! 

the neighborhood

seemed dark lately

 . . . really dark

what with all the violence,

arguing, injustice, disorder,

it’s not that

nothing good ever happened

it’s just that the dark

seemed to overshadow

the light

but sometimes I wonder

is the dark necessary?

not that violence, arguing, injustice, and disorder

are good

but do they make up the canvass that

peace, unity, justice, and order

must be painted upon?

you see, I can’t know the first things

except by faith

when I was born, my first sound was a cry

crying to enter this grey world

leaving the dark comfort of the womb

close to my mother’s heart

you see, dark is not always bad

one of the loneliest places on earth

is the never ending fluorescent universe

of a big box store

never changing,

never dimming,

24/7

never dark

always light,

but filled with a superficial light

a light that pales and blinds

a light that doesn’t hold a candle

to the Real Light

And that Light

Shines in the darkness and

the darkness couldn’t put it out

not now, not ever

not a washed out fluorescent light

but a warm, piercing, glow

from the inside out

maybe that Light

shines brighter in the dark?

I want that kind of light

to shine in me,

O Christ! 

come once again and shine! 

Invited

"Blessed are those

Who are invited 

To the wedding feast

Of the Lamb"

The best thing 

Is to be invited

To be welcomed

To the party

The best thing

Is to be noticed

To be included

To be valued

How blessed

We are

For we have been

Invited

Welcomed

Noticed

Included

Valued

Treasured

Why?

When tragedies happen

We all try to make sense of it

Did someone sin?

Was it punishment?

Was the shooter mentally ill?

Was the girl texting and driving?

Was the rapist possessed?

Did she simply not see the truck coming?

But even when we've answered 

The questions

It's still not enough

It's not satisfying

There's still an empty place

A grief

And all my years of training

My degrees, my ordination

Cannot protect me from the grief

My position as an ordained pastor

Does not shield me from

Tragedy and pain

Even though I want it to

With all my sisters and brothers

I simply must say,

"I just don't know why"

Nevertheless,

"Lord have mercy, 

Christ have mercy,

Lord have mercy!"

Sharing the gospel

Sharing the gospel 

Is not preaching at

But preaching with

It is not an angel coming from on high

To command the people 

With stern authority

It is more like sharing the journey

More like Moses 

Who lived with the people

Than Gabriel 

Who appeared for a few moments

And was gone

As Paul said 

It is an offering of 

The very self

Not just words

Lord help me to share 

In that way 

From your Spirit

Imitation

"And you became imitators of us and of the Lord"
--1Thessalonians 1.6

When my sons were little
They imitated our facial expressions 
They imitated the way 
I ran and kicked a soccer ball
The way I shot a basketball
They imitated our speech 
And phrases, our tone of voice
Our gestures

We all need someone to imitate
We all become unique individuals
And ultimately, we look to the
Model of Christ
But we all need models of the faith
With flesh on
People who can show us 
The expressions, the patterns of speech
The gestures, skills, and action
Of a Jesus follower

That's one of the miracles 
Of the Jesus movement
He did not leave us alone
But by the power of the Holy Spirit
Left us people to help us learn
The Way

Who are you imitating today?
And who is imitating you?  

All praise

All praise to you

Brilliantly beautiful Father

All trophies laid at your feet

Pure loving Son

All glory to you

Terrible and mysterious Spirit

You search all things

You sift the hearts of mortals

To you belongs 

The far flung galaxies

Every single star

In the myriad expanse

Of the heavens

Every single atom in the Universe

Every proton, neutron, and electron

Glorifying you

By their very existence

Life force, power, unending motion

I only ask one thing

To behold your sheer brilliance

All the days of my life

And indeed forever more

Wait

Wait on the Lord
Wait?
Really, Lord?
But we're supposed to have things . . .
Instantly!
When Israel had to wait
On Moses
They cast a calf idol of gold

When we have to wait
We try to cast idols too
Idols that will speed things up

I was eating out at a nice restaurant
And the people behind me
Complained to the manager:
"We didn't enjoy our meal!"
"Why not?" the manager asked
"Because we told them
We had to eat in 30 minutes or less!
And they took longer!"

Can you eat a fine meal in 30 minutes or less?
Nope

O, Lord, help us wait on the fine meal
You are preparing for us
A meal of bounteous goodness,
Grace, and Love
Help us when we
Must . . .
wait 

Confession

"Who can detect their errors?"

O Lord, I am aware of my errors

My anger, my impatience

Saying ugly words 

Demanding my own way

But I'm sure there are 

Other sins that I am not aware of

As Julian did, 

I happily confess them to you

Happily because 

There is vacancy at the cross

For my sins

Happily because 

I can unload them from me

And lay them down at your feet

Happily because I'm tired of trying

To be good

And ready to have a

Justifying and sanctifying 

Injection of the Holy Spirit 

Purify me by your grace

Because my efforts are not enough

But you are all sufficient 

Authority

Authority

It seems like such 

An old fashioned word

And even one that 

Hits our post modern ears

As negative

After all, modernity

Freed us from

The oppressive authority

Of those who were

Un-enlightened

The modern revolution 

Was to be your own authority

But after a century of that

Many realize that

Self is not the best authority

We need something (Someone)

Beyond self

No, we don't want to go back

To having to obey oppressors

The real authority

We need to turn to 

Is Jesus

In him we find real authority

That is love, grace, and truth

O Lord save us from

False and abusive authority

And pseudo authority

Help us look to you

From whom true life springs

New day

There's always a back to Egypt committee

And sometimes it is my own voice 

That cries for that

The past can seem so pristine

So perfect, so ideal

Yet The Lord calls us 

To a new day

New experiences

New blessings

And yes new challenges

O Lord, help us embrace

This new day

Your new way

And your new call

May your grace 

Be sufficient

For whatever

We face today 

Triumphant celebration

"I will sing to The Lord

For he has triumphed gloriously"

How often do you celebrate

I mean really take up the tambourine

And dance for joy

Don't say well, there's really 

Nothing to celebrate

Are you alive?

Are you breathing?

Did the sun rise this morning?

I too am sometimes so filled 

With the worries of life

The burden of pain

The cynicism of the earth

That I forget to celebrate

Lord forgive us when we forget

To celebrate life 

Your blessings 

And most of all

Just who you are

Get ready to rock

Start the dance

"Celebrate good times

Come on!"

Sing!

After The Lord led Israel

Through the sea

Moses,the one who

Couldn't speak in front of people

Launches into song

In front of the whole nation

And that is what the Spirit does

The one who does not speak sings

The one who is downcast rejoices

The one who is in despair finds hope

The one who is bored

Finds enthusiasm for Jesus

The creation, that was locked in darkness

Has the glorious light of God

Shatter the darkness

And all is made new

Evil and good

"Do not be overcome 

By evil, but overcome evil

With good"

I witnessed a fight yesterday

At a restaurant

Oh, it wasn't a fist fight

Just a verbal one

But it was ugly

An argument about

The tea being bad

And I thought wow

All this fuss over tea?

No wonder they can't 

Get along in Jerusalem!

But "vengeance is mine

I will repay" says The Lord 

And "so far as it depends on you

Live at peace with everyone"

We love a good fight

We human creatures

Some of us are looking for one 

All the time

Of course overcoming evil 

With good is impossible

Without God

And Christian community

(The church)

Even then it's no cake walk

O Lord, this is one of your

Hardest commands

Help us pray enough

And love each other enough

And let your Spirit dwell in us enough

To live this peace

That you offer to us

In the name of the One 

Who brings peace

Amen

The wound

Pull deeper into the wound

And you will be healed

Go deeper into the dark night 

And you will see the light

Dive deeper into the

Pain and sorrow of life

And you will find joy

Walk further into the dark valley 

And there you will meet the Messiah

Cause you don't find salvation

By putting on a brave face

But by laying your brokenness 

At the feet of Jesus

Messiah

"You are the Messiah!"

 Jesus, I didn't even really know

I needed a Messiah

Until your Word dawned on me

I didn't really know 

That I needed saving

Until I hit the dark valley

I didn't even know 

That there was a new life

Until you crashed into 

My old one

Praise you for indeed

You are not just

The Messiah

You are my Messiah

Your brother

"I am your brother" 

Joseph proclaimed

To a bunch of fratricidal maniacs

Of course they didn't really kill Joseph

They just excised him from the family

Though they broke connection

Though they divorced their brother

Joseph still claimed them as kin

My brothers and sisters 

Never sold me for a slave

But they've certainly failed me before

As I have failed them

Do I have the grace to still say

"I am your brother"

I sure hope so

Cause I'm counting on them

To do the same

This crazy group of siblings

Vying for favor from Dad

Vying for power and position

Even so, can we live together?

Are the walls big enough

In this house?

Is the love big enough

In the walls

Of our hearts?

I sure hope so,

Sister,

Brother

Dream the dream

Dreamer,

You imagined the whole universe 

With all it's intricacies

From the expanse of galaxies

To the fine geometric patterns

Of a spider's web

From massive red giants

To the beauty of a DNA strain

From Jupiter to the tiny ants 

crawling on my front porch 

How do you dream dreams 

Like that?

Teach me to listen

To the dreams you place in my heart

Covenant

"He is mindful of his covenant forever

Of the word that he commanded 

For a thousand generations"

Who makes a promise 

That lasts forever?

Promises and contracts 

Are broken everyday

In this world

Brother betrays brother

Wife betrays husband

Husband betrays wife

God is not like a human

The Lord is not full of irony

And mixed motives

The Soverign does not

Blow with the wind

Yahweh is not moody and fickle

A thousand generations

His promise will last

(That means forever)

Have you ever known 

Love like that?

Presence

Can all of life be presence?

Can every corner of the earth

Be presence?

Can even the darkness

Be presence?

Sunshine and rain

Shiny Mountaintop and dark valley

Bliss and pain

Love and hate

Genesis and the End

This I know 

I cannot go 

So high or low

Deep or wide 

That You are not there

Your presence 

Simply

Is

No condemnation

No condemnation

Your sentence is reprieved 

No condemnation

You can come into the home

And dwell in all it's luxury 

No condemnation

The ones who 

Ignored you, abused you, made fun of you,

Turned up their noses

Now welcome you 

And offer you grace instead of scorn

No condemnation

The mistakes you've made

No longer haunt you

They are as far away

As east is from west

So, come on in!

Come to the table

And feast

With the One

Who made you

And all the children

Of the One True King

Flesh and Spirit

Flesh and Spirit

These two kingdoms

At war within me

The truth is the war has already been won

But somehow there are holdouts

Somehow there are residual effects

Somehow there's still a conscious choice

To be made each day

Somehow I have to yield my life

To the Spirit

Daily

And somehow through the miracle of grace

I can live as one victorious

A child of the one true

King

Lonely

"Turn to me and be gracious to me

For I am lonely and afflicted"

Nouwen writes that loneliness

Is the universal experience

No matter what we do

How many parties we attend

How many people we surround ourselves with

We are still afflicted with loneliness

But this is actually not a bad thing!

Believe it or not

This loneliness, this emptiness 

That afflicts us is a reminder

A beacon 

To our most basic longing

To be connected to our loving Creator

This loneliness can actually

Be a trusted companion 

To invite us into the presence 

Of the Holy Other

Of course the way of loneliness

Is dangerous

It is a cliff edge

It is a sharp precipice

But The Lord is there

If we harken to his gentle voice 

He will lead us and 

Welcome us into this holy space

That starts with a feeling of loneliness

A deep sense that there must be

Something more

And thank God

There is!

Grace

You can't always do what you want

Is the answer to try harder

Or to surrender to a higher power

Knowing that the higher power 

Is not the power of sin

No the higher power 

Is the power of Jesus

He is the one who can set us free

From all that entangles

Our feet and trips us up

I don't really understand grace 

But one thing I know

Looking at the cross

It's got to be deeper and wider 

And higher and longer

And thicker and stronger

Than I can possibly imagine

Welcome part 2

What does it mean

To really welcome the other

The way we have been welcomed 

In Christ

What does it mean 

To feed, to clothe, to water

The other

The way God has 

Fed, clothed, and watered us

What it means is simply this

I will meet you 

Exactly as you are

I will have a holy curiosity 

To create space 

To know you 

And to be known by you

I'll put judgment 

On the shelf

And pull out the chair for you

So you can join the feast

What you do with this welcome 

Is up to you

But the welcome itself 

Is up to me

Sit down, rest a while

And enjoy connection

For this is the kingdom

Of our Lord

Symphony

I love these early mornings

The sweet perfume 

Of an early morning rain

The busy chirping of the birds

The songbird's refrain

Listen!

There's a symphony going on

Listen!

To the thunder of the chicken trucks

Listen!

To the buzzing of the early bee

Listen!

God is speaking

Can you hear?

Right and wrong

Blah blah blah 

Yady yady yady

I'm so sick and tired of

I'm right and you're wrong

I'm so sick of the arguing, debating,

Demonizing, and strategizing

It's enough for me

To try to live in 

The Creator's world

With some sense of harmony 

And peace

It's enough for me to live in this world

Just meeting people where they are 

It's enough for me 

To confess and repent of my own sin

Rather than to put you through a trial

For yours

I'm not the judge

I'm not the jury

I'm just a traveler like you

On the journey

Finding my way

So why don't we join hands

And quit the fighting

And worrying about who can win the next point

Why don't we just 

Ponder the majesty of the trees

And the wonder of 

Ants building their sand empires

Why don't we live in peace

Welcome

The table is set

The wine is poured

For the holy meal

And there is space for you and for me

There is space for the holy other

There is space for the broken and the lost

The confused and the proud

There is space for the one

Who doesn't think they deserve to be there

And for the folk who think they own the place

At the table of our Lord

There is room for all

Welcome!

And God said

And God said 

Let there be light

Let there be a dome in the sky

Let there be dry ground

Let there be lights in the sky

Let there be plants and trees to cover the earth

Let there be swarms of sea creatures 

And birds to soar in the sky

Cattle and creeping things

Horses and rabbits

And lions and deer

And snakes and elephants

And giraffes and great apes

And buffalo and lizards

And ants and spiders

You name it

And finally

Let there be man and woman

Made in the image of God

In God's very image

To fill the earth 

And subdue it 

And God said . . .

Sing

"I will sing to The Lord

As long as I live"

Help me to

Sing your song, O Lord

I may sing a little flat sometimes

I might miss my cue

But I long to join my voice 

with the billions

I long to join my voice 

With the saints 

And apostles 

And prophets

I long to join my voice

With the thief on the cross

And the woman at the well

And the woman caught in adultery

I long to join my voice

With Zacchaeus and Nicodemus

With the prodigal son

And the bridesmaids

I long to join my voice

With Origen and Augustine 

I long to join my voice

With Patrick and Teresa 

On what a beautiful

Sound we will make

In the fullness

Of your kingdom

In your paradise

Of living water

And trees

Of the garden

I long to sing

To you, O Lord

Explosion

Love exploded on the scene

Power and fire poured out

And humans couldn't 

Contain it

It overflowed 

Like a mighty river

God's river of justice

And grace and passion

And majesty and creativity

It was like the 

Eighth day of creation

Like the day of resurrection

It was fire and tongues

And wind, ruach, Spirit

Hovering over the dark abyss 

Of grace divine

Pour out that same Spirit 

On me

And take me 

Out of my head

And into your heart

Repentance

There is an inborn resistance to repentance

It says "I'm ok just as I am

I don't need anyone or anything

I can make it if I just

Actualize my potential

I don't need a God or a Jesus 

I'm ok just as I am

There's no such thing as sin

Just leave me alone

And let me live my life"

Really?

Well Jesus sure 

Wasted a whole lotta blood

On the cross

If that's the case

I do need you Lord

Every day

I'm not perfect

I have messed up

I have sinned

For the sake of Jesus Christ 

Forgive me 

Restore your image in me

For you are the only one 

Who can

Devoted to prayer

The early ones

Constantly  

Devoted 

Themselves

To prayer

And they received

Power

Power to witness

Power to heal

Power to teach

Power to make disciples

Help me to be devoted

To prayer

Devoted to you 

Great Lord

That I may receive 

That same power

To yield a huge crop 

In your kingdom

Seeds

You're always sowing seeds 

In my life

Seeds of redemption

Seeds of righteousness

Seeds of extravagant generosity

Seeds of wonder

Seeds of creativity

I pray that

The soil of my heart

Is tilled and ready to receive 

Those precious seeds

And that 

Your sun-grace will shine

And your rain-grace will 

Gently fall

Upon my field forevermore

Suffering

Lord,

I don't want to suffer 

In fact 

I don't know anyone who does

Even Jesus 

Didn't want to suffer

So 

What does it mean, this suffering

Is it just part of 

The fallen world we live in

Is it 

A teacher

If so, I will try

To learn the lessons

That are more plain

In the midst of suffering

As long as

You stay with me

But still Lord,

I don't want to suffer

Vows

"I will pay you my vows"

Because I owe you everything

Life, love, learning

Beginning, beauty, boldness

You are the source

You are the genesis, the now, and the revelation of eternity

May I spend the rest of my days

In complete devotion 

Because you are the one and only

"I will pay you my vows"

no one

brother david said, “who is like you, o God?”

no one, indeed!

everyone else i know

has their own hangups, including me

but you, you in your holiness and perfection

came to earth clean and faultless

you fused divinity and humanity

God and man

in an impossible merger

a merger that broke all the rules of biology, physics, and chemistry

how? how? how?

 . . . . it’s a mystery!

i can’t say that you are 

50% God and 50% man

no, that would be wrong

you are the perfect embodiment and spirit of both

as i ponder the mystery

all i can say, with david, is

no one is like you,

God!